Will I fit in?

p/s: the original character is MR worry. I edited it to Ms.

I just realised that my CA classes commence this Sunday. Truth be told, I am feeling very scared, worried and nervous at the same time. Its going to be a whole new environment for me. It is the same cycle of meeting new people, making new bonds only to end up losing in contact in the end. Well I am sick of this cycle. I am truly sick of being very close to one person and then months later, its like we are just fair-weather acquaintances. How did we end up from sharing all our secrets/updates to hi-hello-byebye? When does this transition even take place?!

CA is said to be one of the toughest courses which, inevitably means fierce competition. Everyone is vying for a spot to be the best. You start by competing with the person sitting beside you, who is usually your closest friend in the entire class. Would I be able to trust him/her? Think about it. Would you be able to? What if the competition starts to get unhealthy? I am scared to trust anyone, I really am. You never who is befriending you as pure friendship or might have a motive for being w you. Nowadays its hard to tell whose real and who aint. The worst bit?
The innocent ones always end up the most deceiving.

The thought of the studying bit makes me nervous cuss Charted Accounting is a very academically challenging course. No doubt. Cmon all the tough ones are right? Another thing is.. I did Alevels from a Science background. I am more familiar with the acid-base theory, electrode potential, oxidation, periodic table, electricity, kinematics, nuclear energy, E=mc2, Hooke's law, mitochondria, transpiration, valves, alleles, mitosis, meiosis etc. You get the picture. When I browsed the books of my course, It was all graphs from economics, accounting tables and mercantile law. I sat there thinking 'Im doomed!'. It's what my sister studied, not me!! Sigh. I am hoping my 'passion' and 'diligence' will pull me thru the 5 years. I can't bear to disappoint my parents. I never have so why start now, innit?

I think I am having a panic attack. It has been almost a year since I pressed the brakes on my academic pedal. I am worried I have lost the habit of studying. I question myself if I would be able to sacrifice for my studies. Do I have it in me to be as hardworking as the modules require? And the perseverance to study for 5 frickin' years!! Will I be able to keep up with the competitive-ness? Oh dear~ A thousand times I find myself asking

Will I fit in?

Salary ayo!!

 

Yes, I got my salary today! I am a very happy woman now. Mwahaha!

:D :D :D :D

Slience.

 They say 'Silence is golden.' I used to see this quote very often on the walls of libraries when I was a younger girl. Along with the libraries, Silence is also very much appreciated in the theaters. Having to switch off your phones and all. Haven't you seen 'the idiot' while in QFX Cinemas? (applicable only to th nepalese*) Well.. these are situations where we are compelled to keep shut, for they have been social norm for decades.

Then comes situations where we have a choice. The choice to keep quiet. That choice to mute ourselves from anyone we'd like to, leaving them the utmost confusion as to why. Yes I am a victim of it too. Why do people resort to this? Is it because they are angry? Is it because they need a time to cool of? Or simply because they are just not in the mood to talk?

Though I am very much of a talker and I thrive on socialising. Like anyone else, I have my quiet moments too.

Days when I feel moody, I don't talk as much. Days when I wake up on the wrong side of bed, I don't talk as much. Days when the weather is dark and gloomy, I don't talk as much. I am sure most of us have gone thru such days, innit? Simply no mood to converse! Best solution is just to shut ourselves to sleep. This way no one will disturb us nor our crappy mood. Try it! It works for me. :)

Diplomacy is a very essential life lesson that my father had taught me. Since a young girl, I hated having fights. I grew up to realise it was due to the tensions of fights that I abhor most. Even now, I am aware there are people hating and cursing me. Making me out to be a bad person, wishing death on me and all mean things in between. I am NOT the sort to retaliate and be like 'Oh no you didnt, bxtch! !@#$%^&'. Why 'fight'? Instead I close one eye and a mouth. I ignore all the negativity. I don't lash out, after all people have their own opinions. No point fighting back. I keep silent and just hope Karma will do its wonderful job. I can't please everyone, right? Or rather who can?
Ignorance (and silence) is indeed bliss.

Have you given up? Not on a test, not on a competition but on SOMEONE. A parent can give up on their child. A lover can give up on his partner. A boss can give up on his employees. I tried hard to bring X back into my life. I apologised even though it was never fair. I tried to talk things out. I cried. Got sad. Got mad. Feelings turned as sour as bad yogurt from X's end. I had it. Then, I GAVE UP. I couldn't take it anymore, to be the only one trying with no progress. I silenced myself. I don't talk to X anymore, not a single word. Ahhhh~ And its better this way. :) No pretense, No facades, No tensions.

My silence didn't reflect resentment, it just meant I gave up.

Next time I am go mute on you, big worry eh? Haha. Many interpret silence differently. Those were just some of mine. I dno about silence being 'golden' but Silence is indeed very powerful. They can make. or break you. And its all in YOUR hands.

G'day people!

Cruel climate.

The weather is getting rather unbearable lately. The scorching heat results in beads of perspiration even after the shortest walk. No cool breeze follows after that. Even with the electronic fan on, it feels warm and uneasy. Yeah, you've guessed it. Nothing beats the cool natural breezes! Thinking about the twenty minute journey home makes me cringe.

WAI SO HOT ONE?! URGH.

The Avengers : Movie Review.

 

YES I FINALLY WATCHED THE AVENGERS YESTERDAY!!!!!!!

And it was worth every minute of excitement for th release and every single penny!! Even though I was quite lost on the story (since I haven't watched their single character movies), I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Thank Suhizzy for filling me whenever I was like 'Huh O.o?'.

Thor. Hulk. Iron Man. Captain America.
Sameul L Jackson. Hawkeye. Black Widow. Loki.

For those who aren't aware, the characters were Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, Hawkeye and Loki. Samuel L Jackson was like the leader. He came up with the Avengers Association after being attacked by the protagonist Loki and his army.

First and foremost, my favorite character of the movie : THE INCREDIBLE HULK! Would you ever expect this enormous, rage filled monster to be the comedian of the movie? No, innit? But he is! The directors have really managed to grasp the irony of his character and humor. So many moments of his when the audience were laughing and actually clapping in the movie hall. Yes, we all appreciate good humor, don't we? In his human form, he appears to be a rather socially awkward/shy type of person. When he transforms, BOOM! Besides the humor factor, he has ultimate strength. He just 'smashes' and 'smashes' causing many to fear him. However at the end of the day, Hulk is a good guy. A hero.

IRON MAN- Oh he just has that swag, y'know? He's all about himself. Egoistic, Sarcastic and everything in between. He has sarcastic remarks and the wittiest lines. Hilarious indeed.  But when it comes to the real deal, he knows what he's doing and is very cooperative! There was one point where it seemed like he was dead but then Hulk roars 'RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!' (finger snap*) And he wakes up just like that! EPIC.

(Heart shaped eyeballs*) Oh CAPTAIN AMERICA! Gimme some sugar, you. A real eye candy he is. Opps, I meant without the mask. The most good looking character of the lot. Guess he did the first super hero ever born tittle justice huh? He had great leadership skills and very focused on the task of saving th world. Hero indeed I feel like pretending to jump off a building, hoping Captain America sees me and swoop me in his arms. (dream bubble*)

THOR- He's a freaking god!!! No wonder his power is different for the normal typical ones. He can suck the thunder just from his hammer like weapon man!!! And it will fly automatically to his hand like a boomerang. No tight skin sucking uniform either. If I didn't about Thor, I'd prolly think he was from some ancient war movie. Thor really did look so godly! And oh that accent~ Even godlier. Thank god he and loki are adopted!!

Black Widow- Not really a highlight for me. Didn't become sucha fan of her. There's no denying her exceptional martial art skills tho!

So I guess I am just one of the billions who are really happy with the movie. Watched a good movie after sucha long time. I highly recommend you guys to catch it too!! You won't be disappointed. Get your tickets now. GO GO GO!!!!

Even your heroes want you to! :)

Motivating quote.

In life, there will always be times when people will mock you, accuse you or make a joke out of you. However you can't hear the world laughing at you,

if you laugh harder then the rest of the world.

A Bad, Bad Start today.

Oh beware before continuing to read. I am gna rant my ass off.

So today I woke up at 4.45 AM. Yes, AM mind you!! I time every of my actions carefully just so I reach office on time. The moment I wake up, I get dressed. Then 5 mins for brushing/ washing face. In total after 10 mins, I set off. Then the journey. It usually takes me about 20 mins to walk from home to office. Everything is timed for me. 7mins from home to Tashikhel Chowk. 7 mins from Tashikhel Chowk to Talchikel Chown. And finally another 6mins from Talchikel Chowk to Radiant. Yes, I make it a point to reach before 5.30AM. So that they can NOT cut my salary AND I have managed to do this for the past week. No way I wanted to break that.

I like walking early in the morning. Its my time of peace. The roads are quiet. The heat isn't as scorching. I am alone. Well, another benefit? Great exercise too. Today, however, my morning walk really ruined my mood. There were heaps of garbage here and there. Fxcking smelly, I tell you!! It wasn't like an empty packet of cigg box or a plastic bottle or a tissue paper. HUGE HEAPS OF MAILA!

Then there were huge trucks on the roads, traveling at th speed of light. Oh whats come next is the horror. Whiffs of the garbage engulfs my nostrils till the size of Shrek's. Wait there's more. Dust gets all over my face, body, my beautiful pretty hair!!! WTF! I bathe yesterday ok!! Wai yu wan make me dirty? Fucking pissing off. I hate it whenever this happens. And when I try to run away from the dust, FAIL. Too late.

I have seen a dead rat, a dead bird on the roads. But a dead dog??? Oh hyeallll no! It was the third day I had seen the dog in the same place, same position. It has its tongue out literally. Oh the horror of seeing th dead animal early in the morning. The saddest thing was that, half of its body fur was out. Reddish black skin revealing. Oh dear, RIP doggy. :(

Now the worst of em all. Finally I reach office. There was indeed something amiss. I realised it was the unusual quietness. True enough, there was NO ONE present. Not even th support staff damn it! I made a call to a colleague only to be informed that office hours would be later today due to the spoilt generator. WADDA FUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG~ That was my instant reaction. Fxck it. Why didn't they inform me earlier???? Wai yu ruin le sleep only? PISSED OFF.

U- turn back home. Guess what? Only to find out it bandha today. Thus my plans of watching Avengers with Suhas - SHATTERED! We had been excited for so longggg to finally watch th movie and meet up but noooooo~

WAI OH WAIIIIIIIIIIIII does this happen to me? :"( FML!!! Awh man, a bad day indeed. Le syad now. :(

Dear Boys,

We will never understand why your emotions run so high regarding football. Where does such passion for a team come from? Or rather, WHY? You know when you are sitting there yakking on and on about numerous fights you've gotten into and all the big dons are your back up? *Yawns* We are actually not intrested in hearing all that. We like it better when you tell us stories of your family or even your future plans. We don't care whether you have a bike or not. Its not going to be a big concerning factor if we fall for you. Sure it is a plus point cuss we can go riding together. But long walks and bus rides are romantic as well.

Why do y'all get so paranoid when your gfs talks to other guys? Do you hate Justin Bieber like most of em, why?! Why do you think 'hitting on a goal post with a keeper is much more fun than no one blocking'? Cuss you know what, it is NOT cool to hit on someone who is already attached. It takes the friendship to a whole new level of awkwardness. Trust me. There many things we don't understand about each other, don't we? And oh! One last thing, Why do you guys hate shopping so much???

Yours sincerely,
The (good) Girls.

Subhakamana Saugat 2069 & Cafe Du Temple.

Blogging after so long. Yes, even four days seems like alot.

Saturday : Subhakamana Saugat 2069

Anyhoo, YEAHHHH! The show which I had been preparing for was a major success! It was like a concert type. There were plenty singers, B-boying, fashion shows, dramas etc. I think people who attended the show enjoyed it alot, of which I am presuming this as to their excited cheers during the event hai.

I was on the show as a model (ironic, right?). Us, models, we had three sequences as there were three different outfits. And thank god, I was really happy with all of my makeup / hair & fitting of all three dresses! Thank you so much beautician Di. :')

Pictures Update -

The event ended on a high note. Again, a new and great experience for me. Met many new people, whom I really hope I will see around soon! I am most happy and proud about the fact that I was a part of something that had a cultural touch and was organised by my very own Kirat people. Thank you Yugal Dai and the Yakthum Youth Association (YYA) for having me as a part of such an event. Limbu Pride! :)

Sunday : Cafe Du Temple.

Another task crossed off my list. I finally did the admission for my CA studies, at Prime CA Baneshowr. One thing I did NOT know was that, they issued books right then. Oh dear, em' books were so heavy!!! I had to walk all the way back and hitch a ride to Chahabil. Thats not the end my friends. Upon reaching Chahabil, I had to walk allllllll the way to Bouddha. With such load, it really felt like I was crossing borders and walking to a neighboring country. Sheesh~

Nischhal to the rescue, thankfully! Phew~ He helped me w the load and we proceeded to Cafe Du Temple to redeem our prize for Ms and Mr Teenz Connect. It was a nice restaurant. The stupa looked so near from the rooftop restaurant! Badly wished I had brought my D90 to capture the moment. Oh! the food? Damn... It was amazing! We had a very scrumptious meal and boy did we really eat our hearts out. Man, That was the one time in life I wish I had a bigger stomach.

Thank you teenz for making this happen! Nischhal and I had an awesome time. :)

So there you have it, my weekends were spent really well. Ahhh~ I feel happy. Does a good weekend leads to a good week? Hmmm... Lets find out!