Stagnant.

Its tough when you see th world and all you get reminded is of where you'r stuck. Or where you've been stuck fr th past years. Its like one of th scenes of a movie, you'r at a standstill but th rest of th world is on and about. Days and nights pass but you'r rooted to th ground. Numb, scared, miserable. You can feel th confidence you once had slowly being sucked out, like how a sponge easily absorbs water. Th water is your confidence. Gradually you shut th world, no one can see you weak. No one.

It frustrates you having to hear what people has to say, 'You can do this. Don't worry.' Like fuck off already, its annoying. But no, you were just being nice, I'm sorry. Its like you'r soul is divided into two. They bicker constantly. Cats and dogs they say. One is desperately clinging on to th shredded pieces of hope, but a storm approaches. And all you have left is doubt, plunging your self esteem so deep you didn't know existed. They used to be one, but now I wait fr th day they reconcile.

Aren't you suppose to be used to things already? Th stagnancy of your life, that smile you fake, th fear you conceal so well. You've taken a blow before, haven't you? Another time shouldn't hurt. Will we ever be immune to such emotions? Disappointment, melancholy, failure.

I guess not.