9 to 5, Monday to Friday.

So its near the end of May, and it is only my second post of 2016. Shame on you, Numa! Tbh, I had made it one of my new years resolution to blog more often. Well its just that I haven't had th blogging mood in a long time and I prefer not to put a post up just for th sake of posting. I don't really like it when I have to think hard about what to type next, as compared to the natural flow of words. It's a writer's thing. *flips hair* Kidding.

Work has resumed and it takes around an hour to one and a half hour for me to reach work. Usually you'll find me plugged to my earphones, head bobbin' up and down, mentally crushing the choreography of a Beyonce song. Along w that, travelling to and fro from home and office gives me a lot of time to think and reflect. A lot.

I observe all walks of life who are trapped in this 9-5 cycle. Yes you saw it right, I said 'trapped'. This is because I wonder how many of these people are truly and genuinely happy with their jobs. Are they really following their passions? Eventually after a brief judgement, it gets me thinking to where I am. See the one time I look forward to at work is... 6 PM*. The time when work ends, the time when I feel free again, the time of the day when I return to my place of solace. Isn't it ironic? Heading to work, just so you spend the entire day looking at the clock to return home? It got me thinking man. Deep shit and stuff. I wonder if I am made for this 9-5 life. Is this really passion? Or could it just be th engulfing waves of negativity and office politics that demotivates one?

Believe me when I say, at the age of 14, I had decided and was sure of pursuing accounts/finance. This was the reason that brought me to CA. I was driven initially, I did well. Initially being the key word here. Is it possible that maybe what you thought was your 'passion' isn't really it? Is it possible for that fire to extinguish as time passes? Can someone not have a passion after all? Many a times, I wonder what the fuck am I doing here in this hot as fuck place. Guys, its the heat making me swear and all. When th maximum temperature goes as high as 44-46 degree Celsius, a part of your brain is bound to get fucked up. Bear with me. 

Now in my defense. This is where the other half of my heart comes in. Even though I sulk and be this cranky ass beech at times, I have always, always believed in putting your 100% into what you put your heart into. Once you start something, complete it. Cuss if you didn't have enough faith in yourself to start something, you'd never have started in the first place. Faith is intense guys, it can take you places. I realised this when I participated in a pageant Miss Mongol. Forever grateful for this life lesson I picked up on.

I guess it could also be an OCD thing for me. *hides face* I do not like to leave things hanging y'know. Don't you get that nibbling feeling of anxiety knowing that you have some unfinished business? I DO. I rather complete that, and then move forward. Recently while studying for my examinations, I experienced this. I started a topic I hated, and it took me longer than usual to complete that chapter. It left me feeling pissed th entire day but eventually I finished it. Finished off that madafakka. *dusts hand, blows her gun* I can't help but put that in, I feel so badass. Hahaha.

Having said that, I am still in this journey. Never been a quitter and there is no reason for me to start now. I feel like I am re-discovering myself time and again. I ponder a lot about life, the future. Am I on the right track? Will I make it through? But these questions just remain questions. Life never gives us an immediate answer. Gradually maybe, but never instantaneously. Till then, one can only learn to enjoy their journey. Through the good and the bad.

Goodnight. And thank you reading! :)


*6pm- My office timings are 1030 to 6pm. I used 9-5 cuss well.. it is the standard working timings.