The Title.

MissM is a title. Its a very convenient and great way of introducing me to unfamiliar faces. 'People. Meet Numa Kandangwa, Miss Mongol 1st runnerup 2012'. See what I mean? People then have this perception that 'Oh she's a celeb' and this and that.Trust me, I know. Ive had that by many different pple and I am guilty of having the same thoughts before.

Expectations comes next. One look at their faces and you can tell. Oh how I begin to feel th pressure then. The pressure to perform, to be th best amongst everything else, to meet/surpass expectations and yet prove once more why I had received the title to begin with. It feels like I am back to square one as its a constant battle. With myself. To do better as each opportunity comes along.

Then there are times when I look at my work and its really disheartening when I don't feel satisfied with what I did regardless of the effort. My confidence fades after each smile and exhaustion takes over. It gets tiring to constantly try to be the best amongst everyone. I am tired of always feeling tired. I feel like maybe I don't have what it takes? Maybe this is just the initial phase? Maybe it just cuss I am not used to all these? Or perhaps, its just one of those bitter days.

There are days where I just wna stay home and sleep. No plans. No meetings. No work. No nth. Just me, my home, my bed, my family. A time-out from running here and there to do justice to each commitment I make. I think I just need 'me' time. Some time alone, all by myself. Somewhere at peace. No disturbances. A place where I can reflect. Some place foreign yet near. Yes a break indeed, thats all I need.

You can come along too, stranger.