'Love is blind' said a wise man.

And they said love is blind. Since years and years, I have been hearing this cliched phrase but what I never really understood was the blind part. I mean how can one be blind? When you fall for the other person, you fall for their good qualities, isn't it? You feel like you know th person well enough and that you'r ready.

But oh be warned, that is not true.

It starts to become more about th other person, not just about you. You go miles to make them happy and to always be there for them yet you keep quiet even when you hurt. This is when you slowly become blind to person in front of th mirror. Secondly, you can never know th other person well enough. Perceptions change. You start to discover things about them that you might not like. Deep down you realise there might have been hints all along but you just swept it under th carpet, with not just one eye but both eyes closed. Because at th end of th day, you want to have that person in your life despite th bad rather than not have them at all.
Now this is when you truly become blinded. By love.

Pain pain, go away. Never come another day.

The pain? Its constant, its not even waves. Non-stop and excruciating. I'll accept whatever comes my way. Karma wants to get even w me? Fine. But please, just make it quick. Like an injection shot maybe? Theres only how much pain a heart can take and I've lost myself trying to keep it in.

Long time.

Its been a long time since I last posted eh. Oh well blogspot, what to do? You know facebook beats you hands down innit?

I need th mood to blog and th inspiration. Hold on...

Its funny how absence makes th heart grow fonder and how distance makes hearts come closer.

Empty.

Lonely nights. Restless afternoons. Need distractions. Feels different. Dilemmas. Stressed out. Unhappy. Scared. Worried. Fake smiles. Do I? Should I?
Man I am messed up.

First ever shoot.

So yesterday was th much awaited shoot I did for Kuber Jewellers. Well to begin with, I never thought it would be so tiring! We started at 11 am and only end at 10 pm! Almost 12 hours. Geez, but yes I survived!

The first location of our shoot was at Hotel Shankar, Lazimpat. I am still very much in awe cuss that place was that amazing! Beautiful beautiful choice. But oh th sun! The scorching heat. It was so difficult to not squint my eyes while posing. When I tried to open my eyes, th tears kept coming. Difficult indeed but I think we did get a good shot out the hundreds of pictures?

Around 3pm, we wrapped and moved on to location 2 that was (surprise, surprise) Bhaktapur, all th way at th other end of town. The shoot carried on. 3 models with each having 3/4 dress changes. Hunger and exhaustion took over, but we kept going. I honestly think I didn't do that well but I tried. I tried to look like I was the most beautiful girl even though deep down I was as nervous as a child on his first day of school. Imagine th irony and th act I had to put up with! My eyes looked so droopy and lifeless, my smile? Pure Barbie. (as in fake) I will never understand why and how. Guess I am not made to be photographed? Le sad. But Im just hoping and crossing my fingers that th photos come out well. Can't wait!

And oh heres a sneak peak of my make up done by none other that Sakil Kunwar! Haha! Look at me. God, never did I imagine I could look like that! :/

Anyway, good weekend everybody!

The cycle.

Have you heard of it? Lemme elaborate.

Stage 1- Intruders.
Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. He thinks she's quite cute while she doesn't give much thought. A few days pass by and they start talking. The conversations are usually more interesting at first since both of em' are getting to know each other and maybe there's th thrill of conversing w a stranger? Within the first few casual friendly chats, they sort out their similarities and differences. The talks keep going and they are way closer than before. Strangers to friends- Stage one complete.

Stage 2- The Chase.
Their talks get intimate. And by now he discovers sth in her. Maybe its her personality, humor or just the whole package? Feelings start to develop. He's convinced shes th one. He's nervous of making any moves at all cuss on the other end she just sees him as nothing but a close companion. They hardly skip a day w/o communicating w each other! Slowly even th girl finds herself anxious to see if theres a text from him and she sees his name flashed on her mobile screen, she heaves a sigh of relieve. He makes her feel like she is a perfect being, makes her feel just so good about herself. She shares all her problems with him. However a good listening ear can be confused as 'a friend in need is a friend indeed', isn't it? He starts to get bolder and drops a few hints here and there. She realises too but shes confused and instead worries she's thinking too much. While he's chasing, she's running. But one day it hits her and she slows down. It doesn't take long for the boy to catch up to her. She then gives in, gives in to the chase. She gives in to his affection. Friends to lovers- Stage 2 complete.

Stage 3- Their Honeymoon.
Oh, they have never been happier! Both so in love and ecstatic. He seems much happier and I guess it cuss his efforts paid off? Or is it just the love? She remains abit shy at first while he showers her w utmost love, practically worshiping her like a loyal devotee. He's always eager to meet her. He loves her so much and She's taken aback by his romantic gestures. Although she has her doubts from deep within, shes convinced she's th luckiest for bagging such an amazing guy. Both experience shyness yet th butterflies in their stomach each time they meet up, resembling newly weds during their honeymoon. They explore new places during their honeymoon, taking pictures, making memories, just embracing their new found love. Perfectly at bliss- Stage 3 complete. *Note- This stage usually last between 6-12 months.*

Stage 4- Distance.
They return from their honeymoon and take rests. By now they know each other very well, whatever doubts she had before is cleared. She gives it her all but she feels he's not as into this as before. Not as sweet and genuine as before. He has started taking her for granted. Her insecurities start mounting. Did she do something wrong? She tries w all her might to reach out to him but he fails. She starts to argue over small issues, in hopes of getting his attention maybe? Doesnt work out as she thought it would. Thus resentment starts to build up, not forgetting th mountain piles of doubts and insecurities she has accumulated. Many things change. There's distance between them now and th irony is that they live in th same state. Pulling apart- Stage 4 complete.

Stage 5- The Question Mark.
So now, the relationship has reached to a fragile stage. Is th love still there? Will things work out? Or is a termination on its way? Its full of possibilities, which not us but only those two in th story can conclude. Are they willing to try? Will th sweet boy return? If both of them try and compromise, then they might return to stage 3 again. But if not, sadly and unfortunately, stage one. The question mark- Stage 5 to be continued.

Fuck.

Fucked up.

Fuck love.

This time won't you save me?

Im struggling.

Im sinking.

Im drowning in my own thoughts and miseries.

Can't you hear my silent screams? Im calling you out at th top of my lungs.

Why aren't you here when I need you?

Other times, I did good on my own.

But this time, its difficult.

So maybe just this once, won't you save me?

Won't you?

Exhaustion.

Oh. My. God.
I have never been this muthafuggin tired in sucha long time. It has been three days that I have been choreographing and training the girls for a fashion show. The moment my college ends I head over to Cube for the training. And damn!! The never ending walk from Buspark to Kamaladi. Extremely tiring, I tell you.

But today? Triple the distance! Woaaaaah, got me so pissed off. I swear I was thiiiiiiiiiiis close on the verge of tears. Yes I have the tendency to cry when I am angry or frustrated. I was bloody tired, ravenous, sweaty. Bad bad BAD combo man. I hadn't eaten anything since 7.30 am. Training went on for 2 hours. The next time I checked my watch? Three fuggin thirty pm. Stomach growling, beads of perspiration, knees going numb.

Man what a day! I am call it a night. My body is literally begging me for rest.
There there, I am coming bed!

Remember when I had said

What if one day we discover something in each other that we don't like at all? You told me that would never happen and I was thinking too much? I think today you spoke for yourself no?

Hah! I knew I had made a valid point then. Sigh :(

A big hearty welcome back.

He's coming home, He's coming home.

Im telling th world he's coming home.

Two days left and the man I adore most will return home. Finally my mommy and we can take rest. Did you guess who already?

My Dad. 

It's been months he was away due to work. And without my dad in the house, it feels really uneasy. Like there's no one to take care of us in terms of security. Every household needs a man in charge, isn't it? I bet my mommy is one very happy woman right now. She has been cleaning the house intensely since the last two days. It really is amusing shes that excited, cuss trust me- they never express affection. Most boring couple award.

I am particularly more delighted about his return as compared to other times. Firstly I am a very family person. I love my family to bits and as I grow older, I reminisce more and more about all the family outings we used to have back in Singapore. Deepavali, New Year, Christmas, Childrens day, etc- you name it. My favorite was during new years when mom and dad got us new bags, shoes, stationaries and books! Nerd much? We used to go out, do major shopping and eat fast food. Kids love it right? So did me and my siblings. We used to literally squeal in joy! So with him being back, we can be the awesome Kandangwa family again. A complete family.

This time he is coming for real, like forever, which means he can rest now. Poor dad, he's been working far too long for us. It breaks my heart seeing his wrinkled old face in skype. How long can be go on like this? Oh sheesh, if only I had a decent income!

His presence will definitely change things around here. Stricter rules According to him, we gotta wake up early, not hog th computer for hours, study, not go out as much and bla bla. In short, freedom? GONE. I might regret my excitement then but for now, I know he will keep us grounded especially my brother! Yes, we won't have to deal with his disobedience. Dad will do all th talking AND smacking. Muahaha Yes!!!! Like a baus babyyyyy.


Oh I think I am getting tooooo excited here. DAD just get here soon. Haha! And Macdonalds maybe? :P

:(

I don't feel so good right now. I feel angry. I feel neglected. I feel doubtful. I feel taken for granted. I am sad. I am sick of waiting. I wna turn back time. To th time where I didn't give a shit about anybody. When I didn't have to wonder why and when. A friend is asking me, w sincere concern if I am okay. But no, I can't open up to pple like I used to. Witnessed betrayal and betrayed too many times. I see what has happened to me now. Fuck it. I have been pulled to deep. Its a sign now, I have to fucken' withdraw for all these. From you.

Le sad. :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Madagascar- Movie Review.

Yes, I enjoyed my Saturday to the fullest yesterday! Thanks to.....

&

Madagascar!!! And I went to catch it my dear dear friend, Rebecca. The movie? awh man! Firstly the animals are UNDENIABLY adorable. The theater was packed with all walks of life for these babies. Th only part that got me super pissed was when girls, started cheering and clapping like lunatics when th movie started, when th giraffe went alllll th way up above th water, when the alex and the tigress nearly kissed, bla bla bla. Dafug man. Can you believe it? They were girls. Women, females, ladies!!! Wai yu behave like monkeys one? Disappointed lah, aiyoh.

Moving on. What appalled me the most was th animation and graphics!! Any colour in the world, you name it. So colourful, full of neon night lights. It was so surreal. To be honest, a teeeeeny part of me felt like being part of a circus  act. Tsk tsk! As cliche as it is, we all love a happy ending. I was really happy after watching this movie. Totally worth every bit of my excitement and penny for this movie. My favourite part?

RATA TARARARA RATA AFRO CIRCUS AFRO CIRCUS

POLKA DOT POLKA DOT POLKADOT!!

Got me dancing in my seats babyyyy.

After the movie, window shopped to my hearts extent. Yes, a BIG difference when you go out with girlfriends instead of your boyfriend. I saw so many nice pieces in Civil mall! Plus it wasn't the not-worth-just-plain-expensive kind. I even bought a graphic-ish shirt! &I still have my eye on a piece or two more. Mentally playing mix and match for outfits I might wanna don to a few parties. Cash, money, dough' you hear me calling you right now eh? DROP BY FAST.

Ah yes, rebecca. It was great catching up w her. Had been a really long time I had last seen her. Lunched, shopped, plain chilling. Feels good to just hang out with a friend, no?


Well I did my weekends justice. Did you too? :)

Can you handle HOT-ness?

Im sure we all have a certain list of qualities we would like our partners/lovers to have. I have mine too. I wish for him to be someone whose a good listener, someone who is very very patient, someone who gives me space and etc. I don't need a handsome lad as long as we compliment each other. I don't him to take me to the fanciest 5star hotel restaurants. No sugar daddy's for me, nah uh~ Im fine with just an average chap, honestly.

There might be some people who look for the ideal one. Not that they are th only ones, some of us girls may secretly do too. But I would like to speak in the case of boys. Ramri pani hunu parne re, smart pani hunu parne re, good behaviour hunu parne re i.e. Beauty w brains AND well behaved. Lucky ones do get their prayers answered I guess. Blessed with a beautiful, smart, down-to-earth girl. Damn you, lucky aren't you?

Think again. You aren't the only one who wants an ideal girl. You aren't the only one who has eyes. Do you think there aren't others who wouldn't make her his girlfriend if it weren't for you? THINK AGAIN! Shes pretty. By pretty, Im talking Rosie Hunington + Beyonce + Audrey Hepburn godess kind of pretty mind you!! (okay slightly exaggerated) So obviously she will be popular. And cmon, you know your own kind better than any of us ladies. You know how boys can be. So while you'r w her, there will inevitably (yes, I am bolding that) be countless guys who'd be all over her. Ive seen guys do it too! Walking down th streets arm around their beloved, eyes on a hottie who just walked passed. Must be whistling in his head alr. Not so innocent yourself after all, innit?

It may cause insecurity, frustration and worst of all, the dreaded arguments. But is it her fault she's pretty? Every girl wants, tries and deserves to be. Don't blame her and guilt her for her beauty. I have come across quite a fair share of stories. Girls complaining or 'boasting' - 'Oh my boyfriend gets angry if i talk to other guys', 'Oh my baby doesnt like me in make up.' Oh my bf, my baby BLA BLA. Im like fxck you and your bf. Why care so much?? Why let him confine you? Why change for him??? Isn't it enough that she doesn't flirt back? Isn't it enough that she sees you and only you? Yes, it makes my haemoglobins boil! Whatever happened to trust, loyalty, giving space???

My main point is you gotta learn to live with it. After all, a gorgeous parter could just end up a blessing in disguise maybe? Be careful what you wish for. Jealousy and insecurity is evil. If you can't handle all that? Go date a nice, sweet, big hearted average chick. Its either you have it all OR not.

Lets face it, th world is cruel.

Virgin CA STUDENT.

How are you my dears?

So.. If you have been following my posts, I have been whining alot lately about how scared I am and all about  CA right? Guess what?

My first day was yesterday!

To start the day off, I woke up late. (facepalm*) Bad start. I was suppose to reach at 6.00am, imagine my shock when 5.20am on my Sony Xperia screen. Thank god, a friend of my had over night at my crib and she dropped me till my college on her scooty. Hell relieved I had reached on time, but so friggin' nervous to enter class! The premises of my Prime was swarming with students. Many seemed to already have friends or made friends. Few reflected the same anxiety shown in my face.

I entered class. It looked small and stuffy. My biggest concern? To get a good seat. One that wouldn't seem too enthusiastic yet not I-came-to-waste-my-parents-money kinda student. Bags were already placed as a sign to show others the seat was booked. Aha! I saw an empty bench. I had found my spot. Third row from the front, third row from the back. Middle indeed huh? One by one, a boy entered the class. My heart raced, WHERE WERE THE FRIGGIN GIRLS MAN! Seconds later, yes, I was 'rescued'. Phew~~

Classes began. Memories of my Alevel days in Malpi. You know that feeling? Wishing there was no class, wishing there was no homework, early dismissal?? Yes, you get me. The teachers seemed passionate about their subjects, I am really looking forward to learning well from em'. Hmmmm, my classmates? I felt so lonely. Everyone already seemed to form their clique, chattering away excitedly. I have my bench mate though! Seems like a sweet girl. She even brought sale roti for me today! Tell me, have you ever, ever, ever had someone bring you food right on the second day of school? Muahahah LIKE A BAUS!

Yes, the journey has started. This is just the beginning. I really really hope it all goes well.

AND PEOPLE, PLS STOP DISTRACTING ME W PARTY INVITES!!

Harehhhh kati parties ho yo June ma. 

Cheers everyone!

The End. My last day at work.

The Journey.

It started out as something to kill time, while I had to wait for my Alevel results to be out. A friend of mine introduced Radiant Technologies to me. I thought this job was going to be a walk in th park, cuss I was quite confident of my English language and conversing skills. I thought 'I could use some pocket money' and th best part? My work place would just be a walking distance from my house. Sweet!

Interview:
There were so many people in my batch! 40 plus people can you believe it?? This is the most number of pple that have turned up for hiring till now. I was nervous of course. The first part of the interview was to write an essay of the 12 words they had been provided to us. And damn! The words were super un-linkable. Eg. Seashell, engineer. puzzle, zigzag, episode, brother, etc. See what I mean? Even then I managed to write up one, didn't really have a choice. After one hour of writing, we had Group Discussion (GD). All the nervous forty something of us were divided into two groups and our topic was 'Love marriage OR Arranged marriage?' I belonged to the arranged marriage half. No one spoke. I wanted this job and for that I knew I had to stand out. So I stood up and said ' I come from a very traditional family. My parents firmly believe in arranged marriage. They know us inside out, which is why I trust them more than myself, to choose someone suitable to hand over the tittle as- My husband.' Something along that line. It then sparked a fierce debate amongst the two opposites. While that was taking place, it became clear to me who were threats and who wasn't. To be honest, out of the forty, there seemed to many who had potential. Hmmm.. would I get in? OH YES I DID BABY!!! My name was announced first you know out the lucky 8 of us! #justsaying. And after that, there was still one more interview with the manager. Oh my godness~ Sucha lengthy process.

In between:
After that began an intense week of training. I learnt things I never knew. Websites, CMS, SEO, Static, Dynamic, E commerce, Catalog, Online reservation, Pitching, Callbacks, Pop ups, Disposal ETC. Took th test and all eight of us passed. We officially began taking calls in the sales floor on 18th July 2011. Boy it was hell scary! As ironic as it seems, what could be so scary in a phone call right? There's a fear of rejection. What if they don't listen to you, hang up and worst of all - gush out a whole lot of profanities? How to make sales like this??? I couldn't take a day of it. I was ready to not attend work the next day. But then I thought of th effort I had to make in the interview/training process. I thought 'Oh heck, one month is all I am going to do.' One became two. Two became three. Three became four and so on, till its almost a year now! For 5months I worked as a Trainee Sales Executive then I got promoted as a Fulfillment Specialist in Jan 2012. Yes I guess that is the highlight of my 'career' here in Radiant.

The Downs:
Countless times I wanted to give up. To resign. To leave this fuggin job and go back to my couch potato life. The pressures of this job was just getting to me. Everyone was making sales while I couldn't. I used to feel unbearably ashamed. Even seniors were puzzled and couldn't seem to find a fault I could work on. My friends resigned one by one, I felt lonely. The first time, they didn't let me go cuss we were low on employees. I swear I hated them at this point. Other times, by then I already had a soft spot for my team. I couldn't leave at a crucial stage so I stayed, for my team. In FS, I wasn't as good either. I felt like this job was not made for me. Other frustrations included working hours. It was extremely long. Days we made sale it was all good. On bad days, we had to stay for 1-2 hours extra! This was the manager's saying. It felt like we were being treated as kids and that was our punishment for not making sales. Salary was another main cause of discontent. It was never hardly distributed on time. It got not just me, but many of us to be devastated.

Th Ups:
The working environment here was such an amicable one. You meet tonnes of new people! This place has got me uncountable Dais (big brothers). Almost a year, it was inevitable I grew fond of my colleagues. We shared such joy when either of us performed and the misery when we were so desperate for sales/revenue. Many moments we had fun too! Radiant's 2nd anniversary at Cube, Cricket and soccer matches, Nisha mam's wedding. When I had participated in Miss Mongol 2012, everyone were extremely supportive!!! I never mentioned this, but I was overwhelmed by the support I had received. Cmon I thought no one would bother! All of us bonded, we really did. On happy days, Radiant truly felt like family. Even tho I alws longed for an extra day of rest, I used to feel extremely restless on that 'extra day'. Being here I have learnt how to deal w pressure, how to behave around authority, the importance of money. My conversing skills had developed too! Now, I know how an office works. Managers, HR, Admin, Team leaders, employees. Yes I know the hierarchy now.


Resignation:
I had great difficulty in breaking the news to my team leader. How was I suppose to tell him!! After a few days of procrastinating, I told him as casually as I possibly could. He refused initially but deep down, i knew he'd be supportive. Like he has always been since the first day. Cuss he knows I have to pursue my studies and the gravity of it. So I wrote the resignation letter stating I had to leave due to my academics. It felt weird this time cuss this time was final. This time, it was real. My heart felt heavy cuss it meant an end. An end to another amazing journey. I am everso grateful to Radiant for keeping me here and giving me the opportunities to grow. Not forgetting all the amazing people who took great care of me. With such committed people in the company, I am positive Radiant will flourish and prosper. I will miss this place so much and if we bump in the roads next time, please say Hi! Everyone, I bid farewell now. Have an everlasting journey in Radiant!!! Take care!

Love,
Numa (Sarah).

Will I fit in?

p/s: the original character is MR worry. I edited it to Ms.

I just realised that my CA classes commence this Sunday. Truth be told, I am feeling very scared, worried and nervous at the same time. Its going to be a whole new environment for me. It is the same cycle of meeting new people, making new bonds only to end up losing in contact in the end. Well I am sick of this cycle. I am truly sick of being very close to one person and then months later, its like we are just fair-weather acquaintances. How did we end up from sharing all our secrets/updates to hi-hello-byebye? When does this transition even take place?!

CA is said to be one of the toughest courses which, inevitably means fierce competition. Everyone is vying for a spot to be the best. You start by competing with the person sitting beside you, who is usually your closest friend in the entire class. Would I be able to trust him/her? Think about it. Would you be able to? What if the competition starts to get unhealthy? I am scared to trust anyone, I really am. You never who is befriending you as pure friendship or might have a motive for being w you. Nowadays its hard to tell whose real and who aint. The worst bit?
The innocent ones always end up the most deceiving.

The thought of the studying bit makes me nervous cuss Charted Accounting is a very academically challenging course. No doubt. Cmon all the tough ones are right? Another thing is.. I did Alevels from a Science background. I am more familiar with the acid-base theory, electrode potential, oxidation, periodic table, electricity, kinematics, nuclear energy, E=mc2, Hooke's law, mitochondria, transpiration, valves, alleles, mitosis, meiosis etc. You get the picture. When I browsed the books of my course, It was all graphs from economics, accounting tables and mercantile law. I sat there thinking 'Im doomed!'. It's what my sister studied, not me!! Sigh. I am hoping my 'passion' and 'diligence' will pull me thru the 5 years. I can't bear to disappoint my parents. I never have so why start now, innit?

I think I am having a panic attack. It has been almost a year since I pressed the brakes on my academic pedal. I am worried I have lost the habit of studying. I question myself if I would be able to sacrifice for my studies. Do I have it in me to be as hardworking as the modules require? And the perseverance to study for 5 frickin' years!! Will I be able to keep up with the competitive-ness? Oh dear~ A thousand times I find myself asking

Will I fit in?

Salary ayo!!

 

Yes, I got my salary today! I am a very happy woman now. Mwahaha!

:D :D :D :D

Slience.

 They say 'Silence is golden.' I used to see this quote very often on the walls of libraries when I was a younger girl. Along with the libraries, Silence is also very much appreciated in the theaters. Having to switch off your phones and all. Haven't you seen 'the idiot' while in QFX Cinemas? (applicable only to th nepalese*) Well.. these are situations where we are compelled to keep shut, for they have been social norm for decades.

Then comes situations where we have a choice. The choice to keep quiet. That choice to mute ourselves from anyone we'd like to, leaving them the utmost confusion as to why. Yes I am a victim of it too. Why do people resort to this? Is it because they are angry? Is it because they need a time to cool of? Or simply because they are just not in the mood to talk?

Though I am very much of a talker and I thrive on socialising. Like anyone else, I have my quiet moments too.

Days when I feel moody, I don't talk as much. Days when I wake up on the wrong side of bed, I don't talk as much. Days when the weather is dark and gloomy, I don't talk as much. I am sure most of us have gone thru such days, innit? Simply no mood to converse! Best solution is just to shut ourselves to sleep. This way no one will disturb us nor our crappy mood. Try it! It works for me. :)

Diplomacy is a very essential life lesson that my father had taught me. Since a young girl, I hated having fights. I grew up to realise it was due to the tensions of fights that I abhor most. Even now, I am aware there are people hating and cursing me. Making me out to be a bad person, wishing death on me and all mean things in between. I am NOT the sort to retaliate and be like 'Oh no you didnt, bxtch! !@#$%^&'. Why 'fight'? Instead I close one eye and a mouth. I ignore all the negativity. I don't lash out, after all people have their own opinions. No point fighting back. I keep silent and just hope Karma will do its wonderful job. I can't please everyone, right? Or rather who can?
Ignorance (and silence) is indeed bliss.

Have you given up? Not on a test, not on a competition but on SOMEONE. A parent can give up on their child. A lover can give up on his partner. A boss can give up on his employees. I tried hard to bring X back into my life. I apologised even though it was never fair. I tried to talk things out. I cried. Got sad. Got mad. Feelings turned as sour as bad yogurt from X's end. I had it. Then, I GAVE UP. I couldn't take it anymore, to be the only one trying with no progress. I silenced myself. I don't talk to X anymore, not a single word. Ahhhh~ And its better this way. :) No pretense, No facades, No tensions.

My silence didn't reflect resentment, it just meant I gave up.

Next time I am go mute on you, big worry eh? Haha. Many interpret silence differently. Those were just some of mine. I dno about silence being 'golden' but Silence is indeed very powerful. They can make. or break you. And its all in YOUR hands.

G'day people!

Cruel climate.

The weather is getting rather unbearable lately. The scorching heat results in beads of perspiration even after the shortest walk. No cool breeze follows after that. Even with the electronic fan on, it feels warm and uneasy. Yeah, you've guessed it. Nothing beats the cool natural breezes! Thinking about the twenty minute journey home makes me cringe.

WAI SO HOT ONE?! URGH.

The Avengers : Movie Review.

 

YES I FINALLY WATCHED THE AVENGERS YESTERDAY!!!!!!!

And it was worth every minute of excitement for th release and every single penny!! Even though I was quite lost on the story (since I haven't watched their single character movies), I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Thank Suhizzy for filling me whenever I was like 'Huh O.o?'.

Thor. Hulk. Iron Man. Captain America.
Sameul L Jackson. Hawkeye. Black Widow. Loki.

For those who aren't aware, the characters were Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, Hawkeye and Loki. Samuel L Jackson was like the leader. He came up with the Avengers Association after being attacked by the protagonist Loki and his army.

First and foremost, my favorite character of the movie : THE INCREDIBLE HULK! Would you ever expect this enormous, rage filled monster to be the comedian of the movie? No, innit? But he is! The directors have really managed to grasp the irony of his character and humor. So many moments of his when the audience were laughing and actually clapping in the movie hall. Yes, we all appreciate good humor, don't we? In his human form, he appears to be a rather socially awkward/shy type of person. When he transforms, BOOM! Besides the humor factor, he has ultimate strength. He just 'smashes' and 'smashes' causing many to fear him. However at the end of the day, Hulk is a good guy. A hero.

IRON MAN- Oh he just has that swag, y'know? He's all about himself. Egoistic, Sarcastic and everything in between. He has sarcastic remarks and the wittiest lines. Hilarious indeed.  But when it comes to the real deal, he knows what he's doing and is very cooperative! There was one point where it seemed like he was dead but then Hulk roars 'RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!' (finger snap*) And he wakes up just like that! EPIC.

(Heart shaped eyeballs*) Oh CAPTAIN AMERICA! Gimme some sugar, you. A real eye candy he is. Opps, I meant without the mask. The most good looking character of the lot. Guess he did the first super hero ever born tittle justice huh? He had great leadership skills and very focused on the task of saving th world. Hero indeed I feel like pretending to jump off a building, hoping Captain America sees me and swoop me in his arms. (dream bubble*)

THOR- He's a freaking god!!! No wonder his power is different for the normal typical ones. He can suck the thunder just from his hammer like weapon man!!! And it will fly automatically to his hand like a boomerang. No tight skin sucking uniform either. If I didn't about Thor, I'd prolly think he was from some ancient war movie. Thor really did look so godly! And oh that accent~ Even godlier. Thank god he and loki are adopted!!

Black Widow- Not really a highlight for me. Didn't become sucha fan of her. There's no denying her exceptional martial art skills tho!

So I guess I am just one of the billions who are really happy with the movie. Watched a good movie after sucha long time. I highly recommend you guys to catch it too!! You won't be disappointed. Get your tickets now. GO GO GO!!!!

Even your heroes want you to! :)

Motivating quote.

In life, there will always be times when people will mock you, accuse you or make a joke out of you. However you can't hear the world laughing at you,

if you laugh harder then the rest of the world.

A Bad, Bad Start today.

Oh beware before continuing to read. I am gna rant my ass off.

So today I woke up at 4.45 AM. Yes, AM mind you!! I time every of my actions carefully just so I reach office on time. The moment I wake up, I get dressed. Then 5 mins for brushing/ washing face. In total after 10 mins, I set off. Then the journey. It usually takes me about 20 mins to walk from home to office. Everything is timed for me. 7mins from home to Tashikhel Chowk. 7 mins from Tashikhel Chowk to Talchikel Chown. And finally another 6mins from Talchikel Chowk to Radiant. Yes, I make it a point to reach before 5.30AM. So that they can NOT cut my salary AND I have managed to do this for the past week. No way I wanted to break that.

I like walking early in the morning. Its my time of peace. The roads are quiet. The heat isn't as scorching. I am alone. Well, another benefit? Great exercise too. Today, however, my morning walk really ruined my mood. There were heaps of garbage here and there. Fxcking smelly, I tell you!! It wasn't like an empty packet of cigg box or a plastic bottle or a tissue paper. HUGE HEAPS OF MAILA!

Then there were huge trucks on the roads, traveling at th speed of light. Oh whats come next is the horror. Whiffs of the garbage engulfs my nostrils till the size of Shrek's. Wait there's more. Dust gets all over my face, body, my beautiful pretty hair!!! WTF! I bathe yesterday ok!! Wai yu wan make me dirty? Fucking pissing off. I hate it whenever this happens. And when I try to run away from the dust, FAIL. Too late.

I have seen a dead rat, a dead bird on the roads. But a dead dog??? Oh hyeallll no! It was the third day I had seen the dog in the same place, same position. It has its tongue out literally. Oh the horror of seeing th dead animal early in the morning. The saddest thing was that, half of its body fur was out. Reddish black skin revealing. Oh dear, RIP doggy. :(

Now the worst of em all. Finally I reach office. There was indeed something amiss. I realised it was the unusual quietness. True enough, there was NO ONE present. Not even th support staff damn it! I made a call to a colleague only to be informed that office hours would be later today due to the spoilt generator. WADDA FUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG~ That was my instant reaction. Fxck it. Why didn't they inform me earlier???? Wai yu ruin le sleep only? PISSED OFF.

U- turn back home. Guess what? Only to find out it bandha today. Thus my plans of watching Avengers with Suhas - SHATTERED! We had been excited for so longggg to finally watch th movie and meet up but noooooo~

WAI OH WAIIIIIIIIIIIII does this happen to me? :"( FML!!! Awh man, a bad day indeed. Le syad now. :(

Dear Boys,

We will never understand why your emotions run so high regarding football. Where does such passion for a team come from? Or rather, WHY? You know when you are sitting there yakking on and on about numerous fights you've gotten into and all the big dons are your back up? *Yawns* We are actually not intrested in hearing all that. We like it better when you tell us stories of your family or even your future plans. We don't care whether you have a bike or not. Its not going to be a big concerning factor if we fall for you. Sure it is a plus point cuss we can go riding together. But long walks and bus rides are romantic as well.

Why do y'all get so paranoid when your gfs talks to other guys? Do you hate Justin Bieber like most of em, why?! Why do you think 'hitting on a goal post with a keeper is much more fun than no one blocking'? Cuss you know what, it is NOT cool to hit on someone who is already attached. It takes the friendship to a whole new level of awkwardness. Trust me. There many things we don't understand about each other, don't we? And oh! One last thing, Why do you guys hate shopping so much???

Yours sincerely,
The (good) Girls.

Subhakamana Saugat 2069 & Cafe Du Temple.

Blogging after so long. Yes, even four days seems like alot.

Saturday : Subhakamana Saugat 2069

Anyhoo, YEAHHHH! The show which I had been preparing for was a major success! It was like a concert type. There were plenty singers, B-boying, fashion shows, dramas etc. I think people who attended the show enjoyed it alot, of which I am presuming this as to their excited cheers during the event hai.

I was on the show as a model (ironic, right?). Us, models, we had three sequences as there were three different outfits. And thank god, I was really happy with all of my makeup / hair & fitting of all three dresses! Thank you so much beautician Di. :')

Pictures Update -

The event ended on a high note. Again, a new and great experience for me. Met many new people, whom I really hope I will see around soon! I am most happy and proud about the fact that I was a part of something that had a cultural touch and was organised by my very own Kirat people. Thank you Yugal Dai and the Yakthum Youth Association (YYA) for having me as a part of such an event. Limbu Pride! :)

Sunday : Cafe Du Temple.

Another task crossed off my list. I finally did the admission for my CA studies, at Prime CA Baneshowr. One thing I did NOT know was that, they issued books right then. Oh dear, em' books were so heavy!!! I had to walk all the way back and hitch a ride to Chahabil. Thats not the end my friends. Upon reaching Chahabil, I had to walk allllllll the way to Bouddha. With such load, it really felt like I was crossing borders and walking to a neighboring country. Sheesh~

Nischhal to the rescue, thankfully! Phew~ He helped me w the load and we proceeded to Cafe Du Temple to redeem our prize for Ms and Mr Teenz Connect. It was a nice restaurant. The stupa looked so near from the rooftop restaurant! Badly wished I had brought my D90 to capture the moment. Oh! the food? Damn... It was amazing! We had a very scrumptious meal and boy did we really eat our hearts out. Man, That was the one time in life I wish I had a bigger stomach.

Thank you teenz for making this happen! Nischhal and I had an awesome time. :)

So there you have it, my weekends were spent really well. Ahhh~ I feel happy. Does a good weekend leads to a good week? Hmmm... Lets find out!